MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
