If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
