so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Randomize
