Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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