I want to walk on stilts...naked
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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