this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
