I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
