Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
