I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
