my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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