Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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