The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
