Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
