whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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