No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
