We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I could fuck to npr.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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