i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
