I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
