I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
