My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
