"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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