He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
