I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
