I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
