He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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