Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
