I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
