i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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