Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
