So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
