Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
