I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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