mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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