bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
