You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
