she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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