chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
