He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
