When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
His nipple licking is glorious
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