Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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