I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
