it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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