just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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