I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
