did you get engaged???
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
