I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
