Quick, to the slutcave!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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