big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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