i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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