love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
