we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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