My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize