So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
