Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
