the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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