turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize