This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
