Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
