I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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