I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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