I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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