dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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