How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
