I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
