I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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