lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
