Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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