totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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