I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
