JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
