She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
