these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The uberlube is also flammable
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
