Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
